Saturday September 02nd 2006, 10:48 am
Filed under: All Letters,Love Letters

To 31 minutes of your voice,

You called me tonight, out of the blue. I was reluctant to Answer the Phone because of my fear of what you had to say. Could you be calling about the pink slip? Maybe you were wondering when I would bring you the divorce papers? Even worse, I thought maybe you reconsidered your decision not to serve me with a restraining order. But when I answered the phone, with a deep inward breath, you sounded as docile as ever, which made me very suspicious of the intention of your call. You asked me where I was and I told you at the Borders bookstore. You even asked me how I was doing, as if you really had a concern for my wellbeing. I told you I was fine and then went into my plans for leaving the city. I found a room available in Highland Park, Los Angeles; I will be moving on July 1st. Tomorrow, I’m giving my “two-weeks’ notice” at the Academy of Art. You told me you bought our cat, Lilith, a new bed for her to sleep in and you bought yourself a new down-comforter as well. You even offered me my old coffee maker as a gift for my departure. You’ve been having your gutterpunk friend Bob stay over at the house because of me, but just out of precaution, and not out of violent contest to my life. What surprised me most about our conversation was that you and I were laughing together about the squirt gun incident. You told me you thought it was funny, even though your friend didn’t. I couldn’t believe how your opinion of the matter had changed so abruptly, but I didn’t mention my disbelief. You told me you’ve been going to the city street fairs, smoking pot and drinking mid day, just enjoying your off time. Why were you being so nice to me today? I’ll never look a gift horse in the mouth (whatever that saying means) but I still have a suspicious concern for you sudden change of heart. But the wonderful thing about our conversation was that I had no hard feelings towards you. I didn’t think anything negative during our talk, and actually, I felt a bit of happiness that we could communicate on such pleasant levels. Even though the conversation was superficial and disconnected with our past, I still felt a bit of warmth in your tone. It’s probably nothing, and I’m most likely over analyzing your words, but it’s nice to feel nicely towards you. After thirty-one minutes of conversation, my phone battery started dying so I told you I had to go. You ended the phone call with the words “call me later this week.” And I replied “sure.” Anyway, we’ll see how things develop in our splitting apart process. I feel strangely right now, confused even.

-31 minutes of my voice.

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