Monday September 18th 2006, 9:25 pm
Filed under: All Letters,Love Letters

To a vague memory of happiness,

I’m feeling a bit nostalgic tonight. My spirits are high and there’s a smile on my face. The memory of our first weekend together is enchanting me to write to you and reminisce of our first interactions. These were most likely the more important moments in our short-lived love. The decision to travel to San Jose came abruptly after you told me you were enjoying your friend Bob’s company the night before my arrival. I guess it was jealously that ignited my initial visit’s spontaneous development. I wanted to meet you in person more than any other desire in my life. You had completely seduced me; I was your slave before you even knew me. Even though I had a suspended license from my DUI months earlier, I was willing to risk jail time to fulfill my meeting you. TK, my roommate at the time, came up north with me as my wingman for the drive, but the plan was to depart ways once he dropped me off in San Jose. We left Los Angeles around 9 p.m. on a Friday night. We didn’t run into any traffic along the way, which made our arrival into your city quite a beautiful trip. I was dropped off on the corner of 1st Street, where you and I were to meet. I waved goodbye to T.K. as he pulled off into the night to continue on his trip to Sacramento. The fear of you not showing swelled inside me as I surveyed the unfamiliar streets of San Jose. And there you were, perched on top of a light box, drawing the stripper across the street from you. I walked towards you and called out your name calmly and respectfully. You jumped down from your nest landing on your 3 inch soled boots. You were dressed in all black, as was I. We walked towards one another, landing in each other’s arms. The hug exploded into feverish kissing, and we became immediate lovers. I said to you Yes, let’s be lovers.” And you replied, “Right here?” It was the first time I laughed in your presence, in your warm embrace. You drove us back to where you were staying, your friend’s parents’ house inside a San Jose trailer park. I remember looking at your physical profile as we drove towards the house. You were beautiful, a true Angel in disguise. When we made it through the household doorway, there was an immediate visceral sensation, and it wasn’t long until we were locked in each other’s lips. I almost denied myself the privilege of making Love to you, as not to proceed in haste. I wanted us to last forever. I wanted to love you eternally. But you insisted in making Love to me. We fucked without protection, which made me uneasy at first, but then I let go of my fears and embraced your love entirely. The next morning, we jumped into the bathtub with all our clothes on like traditional fools in Love. We made our way to the porch of a church that night as you gave me head on the steps, which eventually led into passionate love making. We fucked so many times that weekend—my penis was raw from the friction. I didn’t want to leave you the following day. I wanted to stay in your love’s light forever, but T.K. was on his way to pick me up. I was sad to leave you, however I knew I would be seeing you again in a week’s time. This gave me the strength to venture back to the land of the Lost Angels. I felt lost without you when I returned home. I knew I was in love, and that great times lay ahead of us. I was blind to the eventual darkness we are now experiencing. I truly loved you. I hope you someday come to terms with this.

-A happy moment.