48
Tuesday January 23rd 2007, 6:08 am
Filed under: All Letters,Love Letters

To the process,

When I last spoke to you three days ago, I asked whether or not you despised me at this point – not because I truly believed you loathed me, but because I wanted to exaggerate my assumption of your feelings so that you would counter my question with a thoughtful response. Even if you didn’t despise me, you would at least consider a despicable feeling towards me, thus allowing yourself to question your own feelings, and respond with a dialectical answer. Your response to my question was “No, I don’t despise you, but I’m pissed off at you.” I found this statement interesting because it gave no outlook onto future feelings you will eventually have for me. If you were to say “I’m pissed off at you right now,” then I could have interpreted the sentence as having a time reference. It’s important for me to consider the intricate details of our conversations, otherwise our interactions would be lost in the void of ambiguity. I need to concern myself with the understanding as to know exactly where we are in terms of our post-love connection. Since I am leaving the city in four days, I want to be as clear as possible concerning what it is I am leaving behind. If I were to go to Los Angeles thinking I was leaving a possibility of us re-united at some distant point in the future, my current decisions about my moving would be altered because I would thusly be considering vague possibilities of our current situation. Geography is a major factor in any relationship, or non-relationship, because it is the space in which a relationship conceals itself in time. The process of giving and concealing is determined by the space in which the relationship can grow or dissipate through time. When we say “through time,” we position ourselves as a vessel that is, though concurrently is not moving through a non-existent dichotomy of points – that is, from A to B there is a passage through space which has given itself to time, which is to say the space has continued to presence itself in the now. And so, geography is the space in which bodies exist, in relation to other bodies in space. The latitude and longitude, which defines our physical location, allows humans to mathematically experience similar environmental establishments. But more importantly than just observing the environment in our present location, is connecting and communicating with other sentient beings in your direct vicinity. Furthermore, the physical presence of a being presenting itself in the present, at a location in proximity to one’s own presenting, allows the time and space desired to make connections; which we term “relationships.” Now, to get back to your statement of “I’m pissed off at you”, which is in the present tense, which gives no indication of future prospects, or past histories, I can surely state that geographically placing myself away from your present presence will undoubtedly give my being a chance to conceal my life from you, therefore allowing you the time to develop a future prospect of your present feelings, thus turning your present tense statement into a past tense statement, again allowing a thoughtful dialectical processing of your emotions towards me, germinating a response which will give hopes to a history, present and future relationship between you and I – or maybe to give hopes of a decisive concealment of our anger and emotions?
-The processor

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